The Secret to Loving Your Body
I love welcoming my clients into my cozy office space during our sessions together. Before the outfit making and shopping trips, before the closet cleanse and accessorizing – it all starts with one conversation.
The first conversation I have with any new client is that of learning your body type, and with that comes learning to love your body. No matter how good I am at my job, you will never feel good in a new outfit if you don’t love what’s underneath. It’s when you achieve this, that the fun and confidence boost really starts!
I am sharing my top tips for when I work with clients in overcoming their body insecurities so that you, too, can achieve this in your style journey.
Figure out your own story. Every femme has a story about her body. I’ve heard everything from her arms are too large, her thighs being too thick, her butt being too big, her neck is too long, and sadly the list goes on. As I have worked with countless women of all shapes, sizes and ages, I have come to realize that it doesn’t matter how slim and trim you are we all have a story. When diving into these stories, my clients and I often realize that the stories they have been telling themselves are often not their own. These stories may stem from a “well-meaning” mother that thought if her daughter were a certain size she would have more success in life, or a mean teenager that pointed out how “large” her arms were in high school, or even a group of girl friends that bonded over self-deprecating talk about their bodies every time they got together. I invite you to think about which area(s) of your body seem to be your “problem area(s)”. Then ask yourself where this thought pattern came from…if you really dive deep I think you’ll find the answer to be enlightening.
Also Read : Body Type 101
Reframing is everything. Upon discovering your story surrounding an area of your body that you don’t love, it’s time to work towards reframing that mindset. That story is literally only doing you harm, so it’s time to take the baby steps necessary to move past it into a more positive place. Whenever these negative thoughts pop up into your head, I invite you to recognize the thought without judgment and let it pass. Catch yourself when you are with others (especially young femmes that look up to you) and if you start going down that self-deprecating path, stop in your tracks and change the subject. There are other exercises you can do to reframe these negative thoughts, such as reframing your story and making it a positive one. For example if you don’t love your legs, really think about what all your legs can do for you. They allow you to walk, travel, run after kids, etc. It’s all a matter of reframe.
Live, love and shop today! One of the most common things I hear at social events when talking with other women is “I’ll shop when I lose weight” or “I would hire you but I need to lose weight first”. I of course understand that weight loss goals can be a good and positive thing for health and wellness purposes. But I am also a firm believer that one does not have to wait until they reach a certain number on the scale to live their life fully, go on a date, apply for that promotion, travel someplace fabulous, and even shop. We often place parameters and make up rules for ourselves that hold us back from our full potential because we don’t look a certain way. But the next thing you know you’ve waited so long that these opportunities that can make life so full and rich pass you by. On the flip side, I often work with clients that do have weight loss goals but we focus on dressing for the body they have now and on garments that can transition with them as they lose weight. They then feel more confident in their own skin and thus they end up taking better care of themselves and more quickly reach those wellness goals. So today go out there and do something new…or perhaps even buy something new!
Dive even deeper with learning how to love your body by watching my Inner Beauty Video Series HERE & complete the action steps in the videos. Give yourself grace as you try out these exercises and tips as it can take time to reframe years of negative thought patterns.